Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

In director Fred Olen Ray's low-budget, drive-in and cult masterpiece - this sleaze-horror/comedy film from AIP (American Independent Productions) actually functioned as a spoof of film-noirish detective films, skin-flicks of the 70s and 80s, and bloody slasher films. The exploitative 74 minute film was shot in five and a half days with a budget of 50,000ドル. It was advertised with the tagline:

"They Charge an Arm and a Leg."

The story told about a gum-shoe detective tracking down a teenaged runaway, who haplessly uncovered a cult of Egyptian chainsaw-worshipping prostitutes who were trained to be serial killers. The ancient Egyptian hooker chainsaw death-cult (of deadly prostitutes specializing in human sacrifice) was presided over by a deranged Stranger (played by Gunnar Hansen, Leatherface from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) ). It also starred two of the three "Scream Queens" (Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley) infamous at the time. The third was Brinke Stevens.

• the director's prologue on a intertitle-card stated a disclaimer:
  • "The CHAINSAWS used in this Motion Picture are REAL and DANGEROUS! They are handled here by seasoned PROFESSIONALS. The makers of this Motion Picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous SEX. My Conscience is Clear Fred Olen Ray."
• the lurid film opened with a Westside Bar sequence where hooker ("social worker") Mercedes (Michelle Bauer) propositioned a male client Bo Hansen (Jimmy Williams) to hire her for sex and TFC ("Tender F--king Care"); the unsuspecting construction worker was led to her decorated motel room, where the Elvis-loving Mercedes stripped to Elvis music: ("The music does something to me") and danced provocatively; she donned a shower cap and covered her favorite Elvis painting with plastic sheeting ("Sometimes I get carried away"), and then engaged in some bloody chainsaw action with Bo - whom she had instructed to keep his eyes closed:
  • "Relax, baby, relax. You don't want this to be over before we even get started, do we?...I've got just the thing to loosen you up. Close your eyes and Mercedes will bring you big surprise...Just keep those eyes closed, and leave the driving to us, big boy."

• when he asked: "Take me to heaven," she revved up her chainsaw (which she had removed from a dresser drawer) and replied: "Your request is my demand!" Blood splattered onto her - and even one of his severed body parts ended up being thrown at her; when his severed right hand reached up to touch her left breast, she tossed it away; from the shadows of a window, the Stranger watched the bloody massacre
• gumshoe private detective ("dick") Jack Chandler (Jay Richardson) (with appropriate voice-overs) specialized in missing-persons cases; he had been hired by a mother to track down her teenage runaway daughter Samantha Kelso (Linnea Quigley) from Oxnard, CA to the big city of Los Angeles; the daughter had fled home - reportedly because of the unwanted sexual advances of her stepfather; in between cases, Chandler bedded his girlfriend Sally (Susie Wilson) at the downtown Mark Twain Hotel
• another of the trio of tantalizing chainsaw hookers was perky Lisa (Esther Elise) who let a lascivious photographer Hermie (Fox Harris) snap semi-nude and naked photos of her in his home, as she stripped down from lingerie and caressed a baseball bat; at the end of their session, she whacked him unconscious with the bat, dragged his limp body into the bathtub, and gleefully chain-sawed his corpse

• as Jack drove to the Westside Bar, a radio announcer described how there was now a total of five dismemberments over a two-week period (although one of the deaths was possibly purely an accident); he had called Mercedes' phone number (found in a matchbook - a stolen piece of evidence) to meet with her at the bar; while at one of the tables awaiting her return with their drinks, Jack suddenly realized that the barroom's topless dancer was none-other than the missing teen Samantha that he was looking for; he exclaimed:
  • "You could've knocked me over with a pubic hair. There she was - Samantha Kelso! Humpin' it out on that little stage for anyone who could stick a buck down her pants....It was her, alright. A little slinkier and a little more seasoned than when the picture was taken, but then city life will do that to a bitch like her."
• Mercedes seductively drank a "Screaming Orgasm" mixed cocktail and enticingly complimented Jack:
  • "I just love intelligent men....I'm a real scream once you get to know me!"
• after passing out from his drugged drink, Jack woke up in the company of a third hooker named Ilsa (Tricia Burns) who had allegedly rescued him; suddenly, he realized he was bound to a motel bed and surrounded by two other hookers (Samantha and Mercedes) who were following orders from the Stranger
• the topless Ilsa gagged him with her black bra, straddled him and painfully carved a bloody symbol into his bare chest; the Stranger (who claimed the hookers were his "minions") described the significance and importance of the chainsaw on the nightstand: "It is the cosmic link by which all things are united." Jack quipped:
  • "What do you do, pray to Black and Decker?!"
• the three hookers threatened to chainsaw Jack - but the implement ran out of gas
• the film's plot twist was then revealed when Mercedes and Ilsa went to purchase gasoline; Samantha confessed to Jack that she had become a stripper to infiltrate into the secret chainsaw-hooker cult to avenge the murder of her Oxnard girlfriend, Jenny Lin (her decapitated head was found in a garbage-can); as Jack drove away with a knocked-out Samantha, he mused:
  • "I had stumbled into the middle of an evil, insidious cult of chainsaw worshipping maniacs. I had to wonder if we'd let our religious freedom go too far in this country, or maybe our immigration laws were just too lax."
• the film's climactic highlight was set in a downtown warehouse substituting for a cultish Egyptian 'Temple,' where human sacrifices were to be offered to the gods via chainsaw killings; Samantha was given one more chance to 'redeem' herself by becoming one of the sacrifices to Horus ("a fresh, untouched flower to adorn the crown of the gods"); she was drugged (via a giant hypodermic needle) before participating in the cultish ritual; a Nubian (Gary Levinson) prepared a bowl of motor oil, before four observing hookers mutally drank from the bowl, and watched a demonstration of fire-breathing
• Samantha was forced to perform the "Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws!"; she emerged from inside a sarcophagus, body-painted with a snake pattern curling around her nude body (except for a skimpy, sparkling dark green bikini thong), with two roaring chainsaws - one in each hand - spewing exhaust

• then, Samantha changed allegiances and buzz-sawed the Stranger in the abdomen, killing him; the red-robed Mercedes was shocked and engaged in a ferocious catfight/chain-saw battle or 'duel' of the chain-saws with Samantha; she was slashed in between her breasts with the end of the chain-saw, splashing blood over both Samantha and Chandler (lying on the altar)
• the police arrived to arrest the other cult members who attempted to flee, and Samantha and Chandler comforted each other with kisses and an embrace; back in his office as Samantha slept on his sofa, Chandler ended the film with a voice-over:
  • "Oh yeah, as for Sam...well, she's a big girl. Her mother was happy when she heard Sam was safe, and I needed a secretary - like a hole in the head. But she's a nice kid, so maybe I'll let her stay around awhile. Besides, she's got a great set of tits!"