...someone would try to do a sleak and compliant postgres query loadbalancer in lua for haproxy?

https://www.arpalert.org/haproxy-lua.html

I mean is this not the natural thing to do to replace bgbouncer / pgpool and all the other tools?

Nice side effect: haproxy happens to be the lb of choice of many orchestration frameworks under the hood, like rancher and I believe docker swarm and kubernetes also work atop of haproxy or can be configured that way...

Not sure if this is insane or just nobody has asked this question, so far...