User:Ethereal/Arbitration

Arbitration, marketed as ArbCom, is a game best played by 2-6 players and a similar number of spectators, in which every party knows the acts, identities and motives of the others, but tries to provide the most compelling case of fictional disputes, edit wars and personal assaults in order to win over the opinion of the spectators. It is just a load of wank though.

Common means employed by the masters of arbitration are:

• The honest disgust/disappointment statement. Important: the heart tone.
• The appeal to the three Rules of Wikipedia:

1. NPOV ('nother point of view),
2. be bald and
3. Have a stick up your stick which in your bum. Also be Amercian.

Note:

• Appealing to common sense will make you lose voice, while appealing to decency will bring you the first of the WP sentences: redraw lame sex-pics with the GIMP (the "Get Illustrator, MoPho" software package)
• Produce evidence in the form of diffs, but no less than 60. These should be quoted out of context and under no circumstance shortened or summarised.

The loser of the game is sentenced to a few days of random account blocking, after which the game restarts. The loser after several rounds has to wait until next year's round. Conversation with him/her/it continues afterward in a civil manner.