Pikachu

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yum yum yummy!

Osiris Seal.jpg ZU MACHEN!!

Sie gibt! This article is horribly in need of a re-write, but do not delete it. If able, you may re-write it. If you are too weak, contact a member of Der Unwher immediately. Heil!
If not fixed within 45 days, this article may face deletion.

Pichuslap.gif

"Bah Gawd! What A Bonified Sloberknocker! That Thunderbolt may have sealed his opponents fate in this matchup."
~ Jim Ross on Pikachu

A wild Pikachu in its natural habitat, white rooms.

Pikachu (Rodentus Ridiculusaratus) is a Republican United States Senator from California and an electrified yellow rodent who communicates by repeatedly stating its own name(In various tones and volumes).Pikachu is actually an evil, merciless, sadistic and hypnotic being sent to Earth from the far-away planet of Pallettown to hypnotize and mind-control our children so that they will kill us all and make Earth empty so the Pallettownians can invade our planet. Pikachu evolved from the offspring of Yoda, My little Pony and probablyPichu, aided by the negation of Pikadeth. The pokémon can usually be found in forests,or even can be found hanging out with the pokemon Pee wee Herman,usually masturbating,and catching a pokemon while he masturbates is widely known as being dangerous,so this is to be avoided. Sometimes a Pikachu can be found along with a Dickachu leader, and several tribal guardians. Be sure to feed them with nachos, they'll like it. It is especially prominent in Peru and Canada. Recently, however, it has become a problem for farmers around the world, as it settles in fields and eats the crop. Scientists who seek to crack the code of the Pikachu's inane gibberish, has translated recorded material from one of these Pikachu infested fields roughly into the phrase "Im in ur field, eating ur cropz". A solution to the Pikachu problem can easily be found, using either rat poison, or a rather large rock. Rifles have also been reported to work decently. Pikachu also has a really bad cold, and even sneezes as he speaks. The fascist extremist Pikachu well known for its rampage of political destruction in the United States briefly was governor of Massachusetts.

The far less well known Pikajew.

John Howard, a well-known ex-prime minister and dwarf from Australia, was eaten in 2009 by a rabid pikachu. They've finally had their revenge.

Before Pikachu became a famous Pokemon, his life was down and out. In order to pay the bills he was forced to take part in a staggering array of humiliating porno films. This is a Scene from Pikachu's Hardcore Backdoor Patrol Pt. 5 Special Edition (With Bloopers!) although a good hardcore actor his brother pikachode dominated the business

Long thought to be Japanese(he has a micropenis and more than two testicles), it has been found by Scientists and Researchers that Pikachu is actually the result of a freak Canadian/Hungarian experiment by the devil. Born Pike-eh Chew to Polkaroo and Reddy Kilowatt in Ontario in 1985, he brought Canada into the Electric age, and was even called the Pikapika no Messiah for a while. In 1995 he became a popular child porn star in hit games and the TV series "Pokehomos." Later, He starred in the "Pokehomos Movie," which documented a search for Mew, and co-starred Ash as Chew's gay gigolo. Later, in 2003, he became one of the hosts for "Queer Entei for the Straight Groovyle." He now serves as Canada's representative for the United Nations and Ash's sex toy during lonely nights without Misty. There is also evidence that the Pikachu that Ash had was a Nazi Pikachu is also proven to have kicked people in not nice places due to unresistable homosexual and sadistic inclinations so beware him.

Pet

Its pointy ears make good use for acts of simultaneous stimulation and its electric abilities are useful incentive for lazy husbands. Also makes a good dildo for bored housewives who are bored of using water bottles.

Not to be confused with Ling-Ling, a member of the Pikachu family.

Harmless and cute as it may sound, the Pikachu has also proven to be an important cause of death to these women, who often without thinking take the electric creatures into the shower for a bit of fun. Mmm. Fuck buddies in the shower. Pikachu is also a rapist. His victims include Bob Dole, Your Mom, Mary Poppins, Spiderman, Tim Allen, and also Dick Cheney.

Strengths/Weaknesses

Pikachus' strengths include electrifying water types and overwhelming foes with psychotic yellowy cuteness (you WILL succumb to the cuteness). Their weaknesses are ground type pokemon, Rapeachus, and blonde jokes. Also scared shitless of terrier bulls and sith. Pikachus are also afraid of teleporting fat guys.

Pikachu's main strength is its gay ass annoying way of talking and powerful sex skills (such as pumping Ash's ass with the strength of a jackhammer). It can regenerate its health by raping its PIMP Ash Ketchum from crackwhore town.

Pikachu's ultimate weakness is being faced with a naked woman (such as Misty) as he is way too gay to be able to stand what normal guys and lesbos see everyday.

Public Works

"This*munch*is very,VERY good!"

The Pikachu has an oddly zig-zag shaped tail, which has proven to be an inspiration to many people. A couple of millennia B.C.E. the Pikachu was commonly seen as a God, along with the sun, the moon, the stars, and a stick that looked a bit like a candy cane. This eventually led to the international best seller "The Bible" being written, as a collaboration between God and Stephen King. DICK Pikachu was said to be the most famous pet among those pets around the world and other pets might die looking at Pikachu and you all will love Pikachu to death

Pikach also served as Viceroy of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. His administration was filled with scandal as he ended up killing all of the legislator with thunderbolt. Pikachu is also a strong supporter of gay marriage and has been married to all of the Massachusetts House Reps (Barney Frank twice), both senators, and Deval Patrick. Pikachu was forced out of office when it was found out he was an illegal immigrant. (explaining his weak stance of the issue) Pikachu was dragged out of office and sent to jail where he chose to remarry Barney Frank for a third time. Pikachu was also seen shooting potatoes from his ass at the La Tomatina tomato fight in Spain where he had gone for a honeymoon with Barney Frank.

In Denmark Pikachu translates into dick sneeze.

Marketing

Of course, you've seen the gamut of products bearing Pikachu's visage. Everything from bicycles to condos bears the fuzzy little guy. But what you might not have known, however, is that, for a period in 1998, Pikachus were hunted as part of a promotion for Taco Bell.

#^~>>%~%^€€££\€••••••••••••••C••••••••••••••••••••••••o•••••••••••••••••••••••M<------ghost••••••••••••••••••!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Pikachalupa, as it was known, was a major hit in Romania and Botswana. Unfortunately, it never made it to American markets, as 'Chu meat was banned by the FDA after numerous reported cases of Russian reversal. PIKABOO. The Russians valued them because they tasted like Germans.

OH SNAPPLE! The new Pokemon two-headed electric dildo, sold in fine Adult Bookstores everywhere, has recently been recalled for inciting seizures in Japanese porn stars.