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I think the only backward compatible solution is to add a switch of *some* sort (exact API TBD), whose default is to continue to decode using utf-8, and document it as wrong.
Conversion of an email to unicode should be handled by the email package, not by smtpd, which is why I say smtpd should be emitting binary.
As I say, I need to find time to look at the current API in more detail before I'll be comfortable discussing the new API. I've put it on my list, but likely I won't get to it until the weekend.