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I had a look at how M2Crypto and pyOpenSSL handled this:
 - M2Crypto has wrappers around SSL_set_mode that let you set the modes you want. From their changelog [1], it was required to be able to operate with Twisted. By default, though, they only set SSL_MODE_AUTO_RETRY.
 - pyOpenSSL enables everything by default, and there's no set_mode wrapper. Here is the relevant code:
/* Some initialization that's required to operate smoothly in Python */
SSL_CTX_set_mode(self->ctx, SSL_MODE_ENABLE_PARTIAL_WRITE |
 SSL_MODE_ACCEPT_MOVING_WRITE_BUFFER |
 SSL_MODE_AUTO_RETRY);
I don't see any other possible alternative. I'm not sure which one is better. Implementing a set_mode wrapper with no mode set by default has no compatibility issues, although we'd still have that 'bad write retry' OpenSSL error.
On the other hand, setting SSL_MODE_ACCEPT_MOVING_WRITE_BUFFER by default is easy but we lose some security (and, possibly, some compatibility problems, although I doubt anyone relies on the 'bad write retry' error).
What do you think? I'd be ready to write the patch for the set_mode wrapper if you want.