(45.) See, for example, Phil Stein's account of his yeshiva studies, published in Zeek, where he imagines "all the amazing
shidduchim" (matches) with other male yeshiva students and "the beautiful Jewish lives, homes, families we could invent and build," modeled on heterosexual patterns of matchmaking in traditional Jewish communities but also "queering" these heteronormative constructs (Stein, "How I Ended Up").
"For the home that they will build with the help of God," they wrote, "surely holding their marriage earlier and becoming interested in
shidduchim [matchmaking services] at an earlier age than is now common, will assist in making the character of their home be like the Rebbe's blessing, that they will build a home in Israel for eternity on the foundations of Torah and Mitzvah as they are lit by the light of Torah -- that is the Torah of Hassidut."
Mercado criticizes the system of
shidduchim that shunts aside daughters of families of modest means.
"My married children had been told to fear ever getting
shidduchim [matchmaking] for their children.
Moshe, formerly Mitchell--a particularly friendly investment banker with whom Jeffrey had coffee after his third meeting--said that the best part of
shidduchim was after you were engaged to the girl, the careful scrutiny was over, and you could actually get to know each other.