ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Our Latest Post
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Our School District Can Now Keep Track of Your Child with Just Three Terrible Apps
“You’ve been given an app for reluctantly volunteering to run the book fair, an app for viewing your kid’s hastily prepared report cards, and an app for lodging complaints about our apps. Now, we’ll also be tracking your child’s whereabouts on three additional apps.”by Talia Argondezzi -
Don’t Worry, Bezos Will Let Some of Us on His Space Ark
“Feel hopeful in knowing that after strip-mining the only habitable world we have, the billionaires may build themselves a second one somewhere colder, lonelier, and even easier to keep away from the rest of us.”by K. Albasi -
If New York City Is No Longer Going to Be an Unaffordable Police State Run by Crooks, I’m Taking My Hard-Earned Sex-Pest Dollars Elsewhere
“Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a city where everyday residents have to work three jobs and are under constant threat of eviction. Anything short of an excruciating existence for the working class just doesn’t cut it for me.”by Carlos Greaves -
Pop Song Math Quiz
The Rob Base Postulate. Given that a number greater than 1(x) is required to make a thing go right, and that the exact equal number (y) is required to make it out of sight (x = y), what is the minimum whole number required to achieve both outcomes?by Darrin Walters -
Yeah, He Won, but He Was Up Against a Deeply Flawed Candidate
“In normal times, against a normal candidate, we have no evidence that picking a friendly, relatable, likable candidate without a history of sexual abuse will work. Let’s not read too much into it.”by Ginny Hogan
Trending
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October 27, 2025Hi, It’s Me, Wikipedia, and I Am Ready for Your Apologyby Tom Ellison
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September 22, 2025It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckersby Colin Nissan
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxesby Andrew Singleton
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October 29, 2025A Brief Questionnaire Before You Adopt This Rescue Catby Gracie Beaver-Kairis
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November 6, 2025If New York City Is No Longer Going to Be an Unaffordable Police State Run by Crooks, I’m Taking My Hard-Earned Sex-Pest Dollars Elsewhereby Carlos Greaves
Lest We Forget The Horrors
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October 15, 2025September 2025: Atrocities 417-466by Emily Greenberg and Cliff Mayotte
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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November 7, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Labyrinthby Mona Kareem
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November 6, 2025Reviews of New Food: Little Caesars’ Crazy Puffsby Fletcher Michael
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November 2, 2025The Story of Art + Waterby Dave Eggers
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October 31, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Haunting of Pennhurstby Oliver Egger
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October 24, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Game: The Cryptic Crosswordby Vijay Khurana
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October 21, 2025Come as You Are, Unless You’re Noticeably Black or Disabledby Taylor Harris
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October 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Process: Richard Ayoade, The Unfinished Harauld Hughes, 2024by Wallace Shawn
Over in the Store
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LONGLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD Florida, 1982. A nine-year-old watches as his dead father’s possessions are hauled away: his clothes and tools, his faux-leather recliner. His sensei says...
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"Brilliant and always surprising."—Detroit Free Press
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A thirteen-time National Magazine Award finalist. Subscribe to The Believer today!
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"This is the kind of magazine you keep on your bookshelves with your favorite books."—Cece Bell, author of El Deafo
Recent Posts
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November 4, 2025Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand, but the Five Thousand Are Gluten Freeby Andrew Patrick Clark
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November 4, 2025I’m the Owner of This All-Day Café in Nineteenth-Century Paris: Can We Stop It with the Fucking Easels?by Michael Lieberman
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November 3, 2025Explaining to Your Parents Why Certain Celebrities Are Famousby Michelle Cohn
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November 3, 2025It Is Cruel to Deny Food Assistance to Those Who Truly Deserve It: Corporationsby Meg Reid
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October 31, 2025Honey, I Don’t Think Our Haunted House Is Elevatedby Amanda Lehr
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