High on grammar
Senior Member
Farsi
Hello everyone:
I read the opening line in " catch 22" that reads : "Yossarian was in the hospital with a pain in his liver that fell just short of being jaundice. Then I thought to myself, " wouldn’t it be better to write: "Yossarian was in the hospital. With a pain in his liver that fell just short of being jaundice", or at least use a comma after "the hospital", as in "was in the hospital, with a pain in his liver that felt just short of being jaundice"?
Take this sentence: "I was talking with the girl sitting on the bench with long hair", which should be rewritten as ""I was talking with the girl with long hair sitting on the bench."
What do you guys think?
Thanks
I read the opening line in " catch 22" that reads : "Yossarian was in the hospital with a pain in his liver that fell just short of being jaundice. Then I thought to myself, " wouldn’t it be better to write: "Yossarian was in the hospital. With a pain in his liver that fell just short of being jaundice", or at least use a comma after "the hospital", as in "was in the hospital, with a pain in his liver that felt just short of being jaundice"?
Take this sentence: "I was talking with the girl sitting on the bench with long hair", which should be rewritten as ""I was talking with the girl with long hair sitting on the bench."
What do you guys think?
Thanks