Sunday, January 30, 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
The professional life of a W-2 or 1099 contractor is rich and varied, as you know. Those of us in this category must have, or soon develop, the ability to navigate (with ease, of course) the twisting, turning road that leads through the hilly ground between assignments.
Staffing firms and other erstwhile potential employers of a tech writer's services post opportunities on bulletin boards such as Monster or Dice. These job descriptions (when really present) often list those attributes most keenly desired of a candidate. The trouble--especially for the newcomer--lies in translating these words or phrases into their underlying English meanings. Fortunately, I have recently acquired a Universal Translator device. Here goes:
When you read: "Extensive experience and superior skills in technical writing"
It means: "You are a programmer skilled in all languages, from Fortran/COBOL to Java; and you understand all the pesky terms we're encountering today."
Note: Some of those pesky phrases include--Sarbanes-Oxley, SDLC, Use Cases, CHM, HTM, PDF, CDR, PSD, JPG, SWF, TXT.
When you read: "Excellent written and oral communication skills"
It means: "You know the alphabet and can form sentences."
When you read: "Excellent attention to detail"
It means: "If we forget something, you'll remember it--even when we bring you in 3 weeks before the product we've been developing for 2 years is due to ship."
When you read: "Extensive experience documenting business processes"
It means: "We don't know the Byzantine business procedures that rule projects in our company, but you will--from the minute we introduce you to your cubicle."
When you read: "Extensive experience and knowledge of Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Visio"
It means: "We use Office 97 in a Windows 2000 environment; you'll produce 200-page documents and Help, HTML, and PDF files involving lots of graphics using them."
When you read: "Ability to work effectively in a team environment"
It means: "You anticipate and do everything the team wants using your extensible clairvoyance skills."
When you read: "Excellent time management skills"
It means: "You will meet all deadlines no matter when you get the tasks without working more than 40 paid hours a week."
When you read: "Ability to work independently"
It means: "You have and use the initiative that eludes the team."
When you read: "Administrative skills and experience"
It means: "You're really a secretary, you know."
And...
When you read: Pay Rate DOE
It means: "12ドル-14ドル per hour"
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?"
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
And now the Breva 750
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
"I've been to karaoke Tuesday at Big Jim's Trucketeria, friends, and I've never seen anything like this. Sweetheart, pick a key. Learn a move or two. Try lip-syncing. Oh, wait, never mind that last one. It was a staggering display of incompetence matched only by the Oklahoma secondary. I can't remember ever seeing a performer so devoid of singing ability, stage presence, looks or anything else anyone not related would want to see twice.
When Simpson's song mercifully ended, the crowd united in booing. Sooners and Trojans, fat cats and cheap seaters, locals and tourists, 77,912 strong, they found one thing all night they could agree on: Boo!
It was great. Then the football players came back, the butt-kicking resumed, and it got kinda boring. Ashlee Simpson, superstar, is a tough act to follow. She won't be around much longer. I'm going to miss her. "
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
"Michael, an Airbus A320 pilot for a major U.S. airline (who asks to be kept otherwise anonymous): 'Here we have cleaners and caterers able to board and roam through aircraft with no security screening whatsoever, yet people are worried about laser beams? Our priorities are insane.' "
Monday, January 03, 2005
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Beautiful Sunset
Monday, December 20, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
Thursday, December 16, 2004
You can run your finger around the iPod's famous click wheel fast to jet down to the W's and then slowly to pinpoint "What a Wonderful World."
But the Rio's thumb wheel has no such variable speed; it's four songs per turn, period. Working through any list longer than about 12 songs is an excruciating exercise.
you see the problem. Another extract takes the Creative Zen Micro to task:
[T]he iPod's wheel has been replaced by a touch-sensitive vertical strip. In theory it ought to offer variable speed scrolling, but in practice it's a sticky, balky nightmare. You'll find a similar lack of polish when you want to use the Zen Micro's hard drive to transport computer files (a terrific feature of the iPod and all of its rivals) and discover that you must tell the software in advance how much space you'll need for them. How could you know that ahead of time?
Who thinks this dreck up? Oh...that's right...engineers and marketeers.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I've been struggling with a four-column layout. Three columns, yeah, I can do that...but I need four columns. Any thoughts?