WKRP today?
This is super fun. What would Venus Flytrap and Johnny Fever be playing if they were real DJs still working today?Airchecks Retrofit
You keep saying that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
LIGHTNING: The occurrence of a natural electrical discharge of very short duration and high voltage between a cloud and the ground or within a cloud, accompanied by a bright flash and typically also thunder. LIGHTENING: A drop in the level of the uterus during the last weeks of pregnancy as the head of the fetus engages in the pelvis. Please stop mixing these two up. I keep picturing giant babies emerging from the storm clouds whenever someone spells lighting with an ‘e’.
That Dirty Hill guy
[ picking up my lunch ] CLERK: ZZ Top. ME: Wha? CLERK: You. Your beard. ME: [...] CLERK: You look like the ZZ Top guy. ME: I’ve gotten that before, yes. CLERK: Yeah, I bet. That Dirty Hill guy. That’s who you look like. ME: You mean Dusty Hill? CLERK: Whatever it was. Here ya go, ZZ.
Like one does
You know when you wake up from a dream that you were assisting Robert Smith solve a cold case that it will be an interesting day.
Hurricane Categories Explained
Hurricane strength levels are based on the amount of damage they cause. To make them easier to understand, follow this completely unscientific guide I made up: Cat 1: Plane full of screaming toddlersCat 2: Motorcycle gang moves in next doorCat 3: Killer Bees crossbreed with crowsCat 4: Hail the size of Toyota PriusesCat 5: Army of Karens at a Black Friday sale
Tarot of the Unexplained! The deck Fox Mulder would have used.
Available Everywhere August 5th Longtime readers will know that I had been working on a tarot deck and writing a book for the past two years, which is why I haven't been posting much anymore. The deck is not like other decks because, duh! It's from me. I based it off cryptids, ghosts, portals, paranormal phenomena, UFOs, ancient alien conspiracies, Forteana and more High Weirdness. No "Celtic Soul Journey of the Unicorn Cat Rider Faeries" tarot for me. This is the strangeness like you've come to expect from me since the late '90s when this site began. Well, the deck…
Chickens are metal
I just had a "Snap Meal" from Imperfect Foods. Prior to this "meal" I assumed that chickens were avian, organic lifeforms, descended from dinosaurs. I know better now. They are, in fact, one of the toxic heavy metal compounds along with lead, arsenic, beryllium, et al. Hiding them in orange grease does not disguise their metallurgic origins. Chickens are a metal.